Gold Dust Woman
by Red Berin
Summary: Well, did she make you cry, Make you break down, Shatter your illusions of love? And is it over now? Do you know how? Pick up the pieces and go home. - Each of the gem's thoughts and emotions in the aftermath of Sardonyx. (Lyrics are from Gold Dust Woman by Fleetwood Mac)
1. Did She Make You Cry

She was scared.

Garnet had practically thrown her when she found out the truth. She was _going_ to tell Garnet the truth. Eventually. Honestly, she had just planned on repairing the Hub another time or two and then stopping without telling anyone what she had done. She never counted on Amethyst and Steven revealing her.

Had Garnet ever been this upset with her? She couldn't think of a time when the fusion's fury matched this although she was smart enough to fear Garnet's rage. She had been afraid for Steven when he refused to give up Lapis. Garnet would have never hurt Steven, though. She was sure of that. Admittedly, she wasn't so sure about her own safety. If Amethyst hadn't stepped in . . . She didn't want to think about that.

The attention was away from her now. She was thankful for that, at least. Garnet and Amethyst fused and Sugilite's silhouette soared above her. Once she reached her full height, the towering fusion solidified, turned, and wound up a punch that brought the entire Hub crashing down.

She crossed her arms over her stomach and tried to watch. The sight of Sugilite was enough to destroy whatever composure she had left. She wasn't strong enough; she knew that already. And yet, here was another reminder. She pressed her hands into her torso as hard as she could, wanting nothing more than to disappear. Would Sugilite unfuse or would Garnet's rage carry into this huge fusion, consuming Amethyst with it? She knew she wouldn't be able to stop Sugilite if she went on a rampage this time. She would try, though, for Steven's sake.

A sickening sense of dread overwhelmed her at the thought of Sugilite's defusion. Her physical form began trembling. Garnet might confront her again. She didn't know what she would do, or if she _could_ do anything, if that happened. Garnet would rightly accuse her of everything she did wrong and she wouldn't be able to deny any of it. She could only try to explain herself to two gems who wouldn't listen. Why should Garnet listen to her anyway? Her actions were inexcusable and her apologies meant nothing.

Sugilite did unfuse. Garnet strode toward her. She tensed and stared at the fusion as she walked past. Without a word, Garnet climbed onto Lion and waited for the others. The ride back to the temple was silent.

Upon entering the house, Garnet immediately disappeared into her room. She felt Amethyst and Steven's worried stares, but she wouldn't say anything. She refused to release her concealed tears until she made it to her own room. The door closed behind her and she let herself fall where she stood.

Rushing water covered the sound of her sobbing. A thin hand over her mouth stifled the sound further. She would give anything to disappear into one of the cascading waterfalls, never to resurface. She'd really messed up this time. She didn't know what to do.

She was sorry.

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Ah, I know I have another story to update, but I just couldn't pass up on this idea. This won't take long to write anyways as I'm trying to make each chapter exactly 500 words (minus the author's notes). If you're waiting for Rose Petals, please bear with me! I just fell in love with this idea.

Update: It took me a little while to notice that the style I wrote this in is a little confusing. Most of the "she"s refer to Pearl. The following chapters will have this same style.


	2. Make You Break Down

She was furious.

Was she the only one who took fusion seriously? It was the ultimate connection between gems. How dare Pearl trick her into something so intimate? And Amethyst even tried to defend her! Pearl treated fusion like it was some simple, quick way to be happy.

There were times when Ruby and Sapphire worked hard to maintain her. There were also times when keeping her together was the easiest thing they'd ever done. Fusion was not something to be toyed with, and Pearl had done exactly that. Pearl coerced her into the fusion and had somehow hidden her true motives while they were Sardonyx. The pale gem had done so not just once, but twice.

One of them was going to have to make the first move. She could see all the different possibilities. The majority of them involved her approaching Pearl first. But she refused to as Pearl clearly didn't take her or their mission seriously.

She stayed in her room for a while once she'd gotten back, but simply staying away wasn't enough. She needed to do something. She'd look for Malachite and make up for time that Pearl cost.

The warp pad flashed and she was at her destination in a matter of seconds.

Pearl had apologized.

That apology was out of fear.

Pearl was very unlikely to approach her by herself.

It was entirely Pearl's fault.

True, but Pearl had to be terrified after how she was treated.

Pearl deserved it.

She felt a ripple pass through her form, but she soon regained control. She would not let herself come undone over this. She was above this. This was just a rough patch.

Had Pearl ever respected fusion?

Pearl respected her.

Clearly she didn't respect her for who she was and what she stood for.

Another ripple went through her body. This time it was accompanied by a bright flash, but Ruby and Sapphire quickly had it under control.

She couldn't keep thinking about this. She'd only tear herself apart. Now was the time to focus on finding Malachite. Pearl had delayed them enough already.

Where should she even search? She had been at this for so long and had absolutely no results to back her efforts. She'd probably have had more luck if Pearl hadn't pulled this ridiculous stunt.

That wasn't fair.

Was what Pearl did fair?

No, but –

What about the Cluster? Was that fair for those gems?

No.

She sat on the sand and rested her head in her hands. Her thoughts were muted for a little while.

Pearl and Amethyst hadn't seen the Cluster. They had been lucky enough to avoid the terror that plagued her mind when she let her thoughts idle.

Both Pearl and Amethyst saw fusion as a way to get stronger.

Homeworld saw fusion as a punishment for rebel gems.

She wasn't a mockery and she wasn't a shameless display. She was a product of fusion, a product of Ruby and Sapphire's love.

She was betrayed.


	3. Shatter Your Illusions of Love?

She was alone.

Sugilite broke apart and she was by herself again. But this fusion wasn't anything like their last one. That time, they formed Sugilite and their excitement had carried over to the purple fusion. They had smashed this very same structure then. Things were different this time. There was no excitement and soaring self-confidence to keep them fused. They destroyed and then they split.

The normal feelings of confidence, excitement, and togetherness that accompanied Sugilite weren't there. She was equal parts resigned and livid. Maybe smashing the Hub helped Garnet get some of those feelings out; at least she hadn't taken them out on Pearl.

Things weren't any better at home. With Pearl and Garnet running off on their own business, she was left to hang out with Steven. That cartoon he liked to watch was getting unbearable.

On the rare occasions that both Pearl and Garnet were home at the same time, she and Steven would watch them carefully, hoping to see any sort of improvement. Pearl was consistent in her attempts to please Garnet. But Garnet showed no signs that she would even speak to her any time soon. To tell the truth, it was painful to watch.

Neither one of them said much of anything to her. Garnet was angry, but not at her. Pearl was sorry, but not to her. She was in this strange state of limbo between the two gems. She had hung out with Steven initially, but she couldn't handle that cartoon any more. Her room became her choice of escape.

The downside of being alone was how much time it gave her to think. It gave her time to mull over everything that had gone wrong and everything that she hated about herself.

If she hadn't let Sugilite get out of hand, none of this would have happened. Garnet would still trust her enough to fuse. She could still have a chance to enjoy the strength Garnet exuded. She understood exactly how Pearl felt about fusion with Garnet. She wouldn't be against doing the exact same thing if she'd have thought of it. But now Garnet must hate her for defending Pearl and for the reluctance that must have been evident in Sugilite.

Garnet used to enjoy Sugilite, but she had messed that up and Garnet wouldn't fuse with her for a long time, especially after the Sardonyx fiasco. And who knew the next time she would fuse with Pearl? Pearl constantly yelled at her. It was so hard to keep Opal together if they weren't focused on one task.

Now neither of them would talk to her. She wasn't surprised. If she tried to talk to Pearl, she'd only be a nuisance in the pale gem's failed attempts at redemption. If she tried to talk to Garnet, she'd only get cryptic answers and maybe a few grumbles. Steven was an option, but he couldn't understand. She was by herself until there was a compromise.

She was used to this.

* * *

I hope we all survived the Stevenbomb with minimum heartbreak! I'm happy to have a resolution of some sorts. This will have one more chapter before it's finished. Thanks for reading!


	4. Is it Over Now?

He was worried.

Yes, the gems didn't always get along. But they never had an argument like this, at least as far as he knew. If they did, they hid it well. Or they could have fought before he was born. He wasn't sure.

And when they did fight, he was there to help them see each other's point of view. There was that time Amethyst secretly wrestled. Garnet and Pearl were upset with her until he intervened. Then he helped Amethyst and Pearl fuse into Opal. He would help Amethyst again later when she showed him where she came from. He had helped Pearl, too, and was sometimes helpful to Garnet.

But this was different. He watched Pearl attempt to make up to Garnet, only to get ignored by the fusion. He had seen Garnet mad before and had even been on the receiving end of her anger. This silent fury frightened him. He couldn't imagine how scared and sorry Pearl must be.

He knew Pearl wasn't guiltless, though. She shouldn't have tricked Garnet. Garnet had every right to be upset.

The pale geml tried so hard to make it up to Garnet. He'd watch her from his bed sometimes. She'd disappear and reappear, occasionally crossing paths with Garnet. Pearl would try to talk. Garnet wouldn't respond.

For a while, Amethyst watched these exchanges with him. Whereas he remained hopeful that Garnet would eventually answer Pearl, Amethyst simply watched the tension quietly. He and Amethyst had fallen asleep one night watching Crying Breakfast Friends. When he woke, he found that the purple gem had left him.

His video games and cartoons kept him occupied as they weren't going on any missions, but they weren't enough to keep his mind off the gems. He tried to read some of the books Connie loaned him. He was sure they would be great if he could just pay attention long enough to get through one. Nothing could hold his focus.

He wanted his family back.

One time he waited for Garnet and Pearl to cross paths again. It took a while, but Pearl came out of her room just as Garnet reappeared on the warp pad. He jumped to his feet and scrambled down the steps, shouting both of their names. For a few brief moments, he held their attention. They looked at him without fear or anger. They were his protectors again, his guardians.

The illusion faded fast, however. When they figured out he didn't actually have anything to say to them, they went their separate ways. Pearl stared as Garnet retreated into her room without a word. She gave Steven a sad smile before taking the warp pad.

What could he do? He had stopped the Crystal Gems' conflicts before, but Pearl and Garnet barely acknowledged him. He knew they had to work things out on their own. How could they, though, if they wouldn't just talk to each other? He didn't know what else to do.

He was helpless.

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And so this concludes this short idea I had! I'll be back to work on Rose Petals. Thank you all for reading!


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